Monday, August 9, 2010

My kids belong in the zoo!!!

So, I read all these mom-blogs where the authors sing the praises of their little angel children who are just the cutest kids in the universe and never do anything wrong. There is never a cross word spoken, kids just play all day while their mother's complete incredibly cute projects, and never, ever mess up the house that was just cleaned.

Let me tell you about a recent day I spent with my children at the zoo. To give you a little background, when I have to get up for some event in the morning, I will not sleep the night before. I'm going over lists in my head, what snacks to take, don't forget the stroller, things like that. And to make sure I don't sleep through the alarm, I won't sleep at all. So the day starts out really bad anyway and put on top of that 4 hours of driving, walking around a stinky zoo in 97 degrees, feeling like I'm melting, trying to keep wandering-Lindsey with the group. It just makes for a really long day. But I pride myself on being a pretty fun mom taking my kids to do all kinds of fun things most days of the week. Despite it all, we had a good day at the zoo and Josie was fascinated with all the new creatures she got to see up close. However, the kids favorite part of the zoo was this giant carved elephant that sneezed and spit water and air out of its trunk. The kids couldn't get enough!


We left the zoo around dinner time and headed for an old favorite restaurant of ours...Robintino's. This kids were pretty wound up but didn't make too much of a scene. Only one guy kept staring at them as they giggled and played with their food. We left the restaurant and drove to the mall where I wanted to get a shirt for my class reunion which was the next night. I don't normally go shopping with all three kids...let me rephrase that...I don't normally go shopping, period. But since it was a special occasion I had to stop while I was in the big city.

We got to the mall and as soon as we entered the only store I wanted to go to Josie said she needed to go potty. Arrggghhh! I figured she could hold it for a minutes while I looked around since she went less than an hour ago. Within two minutes of entering the packed store I had to get after the girls for messing around and being too noisy. I picked out some shirts and headed to the dressing room with the three girls in tow. I tried some things on and had to go back out into the store to get something else. All of sudden I hear glass-shattering squealing and Lindsey yelling at Emily in the dressing room. I went back in and scolded the kids, telling them to be quiet. Josie reminded me she needed to go potty. I said, "Ok. In just a minute." She said, "Ok, mommy."

Tried some more shirts on going as fast as I could, back out into the store, more squealing, yelling, crying and laughing coming from the dressing room. Hurrying as fast as I can, trying to pretend like they were someone else's kids. Went back to the dressing room and hear Josie say, "Mommy, peepee!" Looked down at her to see her peeing all over herself and the brand new stroller I had just bought that morning! Oh my gosh! What do I do? Got some paper towels from the store employee who offered to clean up the mess until I told her that my child had just peed all over the dressing floor. She said, "Oh" and handed me the paper towels. Good thing it was a concrete floor.

By the time I was done cleaning up the mess I was so angry with my kids I thought I was seriously going to hurt them. I was shaking and it took every ounce of my being not to lose control in the store. I decided I would save it for the car. I couldn't believe how selfish and inconsiderate they had been and how poorly they behaved in a public place after I had just spent an entire day with them at the zoo in the heat, spent a ton of money on them, bought them lunch and dinner and they couldn't give me 30 minutes to shop for a shirt without making complete fools out of all of us! I was sooo mad. I think I even let a few choice swear words fly as I was cleaning up the puddle on the floor. Did I feel bad after swearing at them and giving them a complete tongue lashing in the car? Heck no. They needed to understand the consequences of their behavior. What are the consequences? No more fun mommy. No more fun activities. At least not for a few days anyway.

So to all you mommy-bloggers who tell everyone in cyberspace how wonderful your kids are, I have one word for you...LIAR!!!!

5 comments:

Obtuse1 said...

After a few years, you look back and notice things have gotten easier. You think to yourself, "Wow, the kids are growing up and starting to behave!". But then you realize what it really is; it's just that all your caring about what other people think has been burned out of you.

I remember being mortified at the store when one of the kids would start screaming or acting up. That is until I realized, most people don't care, and the ones that do, to H**l with them! They probably don't have kids anyway and what they think doesn't matter.

Amy said...

D-You're probably right. I shouldn't care what people think. I thought it would take me a long time to look back at that and laugh but just a few days later I'm realizing how ridiculously funny it was.

administrator alice said...

Your blog about trying on a swim suit is still one of your best and believe me we have ALL been there.

Angie said...

You are a crack up. I love to read your posts! I still think the swimming suit post is my favorite... but this is a close second. I miss you!! Call me next time your in town and we'll meet for lunch. If Josie pee's her pants.. I'll wait with the food and then they won't throw it away! Next year is out year for lake powell by the way. The baby made this summer out for that, but next summer...

Angie said...

I meant our year...